And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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