Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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