tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
