dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
