i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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