Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
