Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
