Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Randomize
