I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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