**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
