I am spending my child support on dildos
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
