Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
