Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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