I just saw a hot homeless man
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I have already put on my inside pants.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize