i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
