You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
