covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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