Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
