my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
