Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
