Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Everything about him screamed your future.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
