If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
