You're my little dorito
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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