@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
