you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
