No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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