Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
