Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I am midnight drunk by noon
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
