He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
