For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
