The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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