Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
please come you make the beer taste better
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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