Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
