i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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