I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
My ass is underappreciated
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
