I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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