I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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