we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
