Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
There are leaves in my underwear?
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