Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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