he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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