Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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