those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize