do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
