Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
