apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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