he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Randomize
