You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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