What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My first STD was from a foam party
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
