how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
