quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Randomize