oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Plan B is the new Plan A
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We're too hungover to prance.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
