everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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