I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
