And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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