Your tits are I can't wait for
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
handjob tips. give me some.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Your topless pictures make me question reality
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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