When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
