Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize