fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
