why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Operation Purity has been aborted
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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