WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
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