please come you make the beer taste better
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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